How to complain at restaurants without being rude (2024)

A lot of us don't know how to complain properly when we’re unhappy with our food, which means we either get too scared to do it or go about it in a rude way.

Complaining at a restaurant isn’t fun but can be important so here’s what you need to know.

What's appropriate for a customer to complain about?

Customers shouldn't feel too scared to complain, says Jessica Walker, communications manager at Consumer NZ.

While it feels unnatural to complain, restaurants can’t put their mistakes right if they don’t know there’s a problem, she says.

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Complaints regarding dietary requirements and allergies feel the most valid to make.

If you’re allergic to walnuts and you ordered a salad that you didn’t realise included walnuts, you should absolutely speak up.

But complaints about the taste and preparation of a dish are also valid, says Sophie Gilmour, hospitality consultant and co-owner of Fatimas and The Village in Auckland.

“If what you paid for falls short of what you ordered, you should complain,” Sophie says.

That includes if a dish is missing a component, if there’s an incorrect item or if the dish is prepared incorrectly.

How to complain at restaurants without being rude (1)

“If the avocado on your plate is brown and mushy and overripe, you’re in your rights to say that.”

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When asking yourself whether you should complain about food at a restaurant, consider the amount of money you’ve spent on the dish.

Sophie says that in a quick serve environment like Maccas, she has lower expectations for things like presentation.

But if you’ve gone to a high end restaurant and paid for an expensive entree that has been presented very sloppily, that could be useful feedback to provide the restaurant.

Common complaints

Coffee is one of the most common food items to be complained about, Sophie says.

Sophie says customers tend to be “very particular” about how they like their coffee to be made, so she encourages people to be specific when placing their order so they don’t have to complain afterwards.

It's also common for customers to complain about wait times for food.

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An article by Consumer NZ says if you notified a restaurant that you needed to leave by a certain time but the food didn’t arrive by then, you could complain and leave without paying.

If there wasn’t an agreed upon time limit, the Consumer Guarantees Act says you should receive your food within a reasonable time.

What is reasonable depends on what you’ve ordered. Consumer NZ says half an hour could be acceptable for a cooked meal but not for fast food or coffee.

Sophie says complaints about wait times often come down to a lack of understanding of what's involved in the creation of a dish.

At her restaurant Fatimas, they make every dish to order. That means if a customer orders chicken, it takes them some time to cook it from scratch.

Once a customer has placed an order for chicken, there’s very little that staff can do to speed up the cooking process, even if the customer is in a rush.

If you’re going to a restaurant but you’re short on time, Sophie recommends telling the wait staff how much time you have and asking them what can realistically be cooked and eaten within that time frame.

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Escalating serious complaints

If you believe you got food poisoning from food you ate at a restaurant, the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) recommends you report it to the health protection officer at your local public health unit.

The officer can investigate the cause of your illness and help the restaurant improve their food safety processes.

If you think the restaurant you went to was very dirty or unhygienic, CAB says it's best to contact your local city council’s environmental health officer.

What is inappropriate to complain about?

While mushy brown avocado is objectively bad, taste is largely subjective.

Sophie says disliking the taste of a dish you’re unfamiliar with is a grey area and isn’t necessarily grounds for a complaint.

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Some dishes have polarising ingredients and when people order it, they complain about these components, Sophie says.

How to complain at restaurants without being rude (2)

If you’ve ordered a dish you’ve never had before and something tastes off about it, Sophie recommends asking one of the wait staff to confirm whether the dish is typically prepared that way.

Her other suggestion is to not get experimental when ordering if you know you’re a fussy eater, because there's a high chance you won't like the food you're served.

Hospitality staff are trained to deal with complaints

Staff working at Sophie’s restaurants are trained to respond to complaints by apologising, giving the customer what they want, and giving them something extra if the situation calls for it.

“Hospitality is the business of making people feel hosted and looked after, so even if someone wouldn't legally be entitled to compensation, we do it out of goodwill,” Sophie says.

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The worst complaints Sophie has received are ones where customers were enraged and took their anger out on the waitstaff.

“It's upsetting that people think they can treat waitstaff rudely, insulting anyone is a bad way to go.”

In those situations, Sophie always backs her staff members.

In order for a restaurant to function, it hinges on a lot of things going right. Something could go wrong in the kitchen, in the front of the house, or with the technology and machinery.

Sophie says it's helpful when customers pass on their feedback to the right person instead of taking out their frustrations on the wait staff.

What’s the best way to complain?

Being respectful and constructive is key to complaining well, Sophie says.

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Sophie says when a complaint is delivered well, it's considered “feedback”. When it's delivered badly, it comes across as “abuse”.

Jessica Walker from Consumer NZ says customers should complain as soon as they discover a problem, instead of eating the entire meal, then complaining and refusing to pay.

“It's not fair on the restaurant if you mention things weren’t up to scratch when you’re on your way out.”

Sophie agrees.

“Someone eating a whole dish and then complaining about it is a lost opportunity for the restaurant to learn and improve,” Sophie says.

How to complain at restaurants without being rude (2024)

FAQs

How to complain at restaurants without being rude? ›

Asking to speak to a manager will help everyone find the source of the problem as quickly as possible, whether that may be your server, the kitchen, or the management. Politely ask to speak to manager after you've finished giving your complaint to your server, as in “I would like to speak to your manager, thank you.”

How do I complain without being rude? ›

Make your request into a question

So try phrasing your complaint as a request for help: “Can you help me with this? My shirt came back from the laundry missing buttons.” Use modal verbs such as would, could and can to make your request as polite as possible. In English, we call this distancing.

How do you complain maturely? ›

The most effective complainants are those who have a clear idea of what they want to achieve from their complaint, and who set it out clearly to the person to whom they are complaining. If you want a refund, for a product or service that didn't live up to your expectations, say so.

How to complain while still being professional? ›

Back Up Your Complaint

By explaining a few specific ways that something has directly affected you and your teammates, you'll prove that a problem exists, and by suggesting a solution, you'll convey that you're invested in the issue and willing to put in significant effort to address it.

What is the etiquette of complaining? ›

Don't Be Petty. Complaining directly to someone can seem daunting or unenjoyable, but it's better to deal with an issue privately than to commit one of the biggest etiquette no-nos: gossiping. If dealing with a family, friend, or coworker issue, avoid bad-mouthing or gossiping to others.

Is it rude to complain about food? ›

Customers shouldn't feel too scared to complain, says Jessica Walker, communications manager at Consumer NZ. While it feels unnatural to complain, restaurants can't put their mistakes right if they don't know there's a problem, she says.

How do you respond to negative food comments? ›

Say “Thank you” and “Sorry”

No matter what else your review says, make sure to hit on the two most important points: Thank the guest for giving your restaurant a try, and apologize for what went wrong.

How to complain without being rude? ›

The person complaining should avoid any emotional outburst and stick to a favourable tone. The letter should seek to gain rectification and the recipient should be willing to be open minded and assure that the person making the complaint is being taken seriously.

How do you make a strong complaint? ›

Include essential information relating to the product or service that you bought or received. For example: the date/time of the issue, location, name of person on duty, name of product, what the problem was, your account number, model number, price, warranty information and reference number.

How do you call a waiter without being rude? ›

If your server is still taking a long time to get to you, you can try to make friendly eye contact with them, or politely raise a hand if you see them pass by. But the best way to get a server's attention if you have already ordered is to call them by name.

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