The challenge of dressing as the mother of the bride (MOTB) while looking modern and true to yourself is not to be underestimated. For many modern mums of the bride or groom, a fascinator with a shiny bolero and dress is no longer their outfit of choice when their child walks up the aisle. To be blunt, a lot of traditional MOTB outfits can be ageing, overpriced and not reflective of the way most women dress normally. As part of our wedding special in collaboration with the Irish Daily Mail's You magazine, stylist and fashion journalist Rose Mary Roche, tackled the tricky style task of how to dress as a modern mother of the bride or groom and still look like yourself. Read on for her wise words, top outfit tips and savvy style insight... With weddings more intimate post-pandemic, there is a mood for casual celebrations while an awareness of sustainability has roused a desire to buy an outfit that can be worn again after the big day. Many weddings may now run over an entire weekend so can require multiple outfit changes. Garish polyester fabrics, ageing style tropes and the fact that spending so much money on an outfit designed to be worn once is not only unsustainable but also a very poor return for your cash, means the category is ripe for reinvention. Women come in all shapes and sizes with different tastes, yet many MOTB outfits are designed with a generic approach. Many options are created to fit a middle-aged body stereotype, when women today are maintaining their fitness, fashion sense and sexual attractiveness well into their later life. Traditional mother of the bride outfits can seem dull, demure and matronly to a modern woman in her 40s, 50s or 60s who is full of life, loves style and may be borrowing clothes from her daughter. Over coordinated outfits can also add years. No one wants to be a frump, especially on a day when being photographed extensively means there will be a lasting record of your outfit. There is a better way to choose your kit. Firstly, stick to your signature style and do not surrender to stereotypes. Instead choose beautiful classic styles that will enjoy a long lifespan and deliver value re cost per wear. Where possible, opt for natural fabrics that will adapt to fluctuations in body temperature and your environment, during what is an extremely long day. Being uncomfortable will spoil your enjoyment of the wedding and you'll regret it. But here's how you can 'do you' on the day... Juliet Ledwidge of JuJu boutique in Greystones, Co. Wicklow, encourages women to be more open-minded and adventurous when dressing for a wedding. "Just because you are the mother of the bride or indeed the groom doesn't limit you to traditional dress and coat ensembles," she says. 'The rules have changed. While we all love the chance to really dress up on special occasions, women are now looking for a slightly edgier look and definitely something that can be worn again. We always source some key pieces from core collections that make wonderful special event outfits.' She suggests something versatile like a silk Joseph dress that can be "glammed up with heels but likewise worn with boots or runners for a wear-anywhere vibe" afterwards. "Weddings have changed too and not all are church occasions followed by formal reception," she says. "But whether it's a traditional set-up or a beachside location, as mother of a significant player you want to look and feel fantastic, but also comfortable for the conditions and free to dance and move from dawn to dusk. Simple elegance that suits your shape will always be a winner." Jane Power, a personal shopper at Arnotts, has also seen a change in the way women are shopping as modern mothers of the bride or groom. "We've seen mothers of the bride and groom moving away from the traditional two-piece outfits, in favour of a more contemporary look that can be worn again. An elegant well-cut dress with sleeves and minimal detail is the most requested look, with a great shoe and bag. Fascinators, wraps and cover-ups are not as popular in recent years, with a more pared-back look being key. Women in their 50s and 60s are now dressing in a more youthful way, and this is reflected in their occasionwear choices." MOTBs who have managed to look contemporary, stylish and individual have included Carol Middleton, Doria Ragland, Victoria Beckham, Tina Knowles and Susan Sarandon. While all wore very different outfits, all looked fabulous. They opted for what suited them and therefore looked radiant and relaxed. One of the best pieces of advice when shopping for a wedding look, is not to limit your search to special occasion boutiques or mother of the bride brands only. Don't just Google mother of the bride outfit - it's too limiting. Instead, think outside the box. Here are great places to start shopping for whatever your style or budget. Don't forget to put equal time and energy into sourcing good underwear. Carefully designed shapewear should be comfortable as well as streamlining. It is essential to the overall look of your outfit and being uncomfortable can really impact your enjoyment of the day. Expert advice on your underpinnings is available from retailers including Susan Hunter, Peaches & Cream, Brown Thomas and Arnotts. Re your legs; it's better to avoid nylons as they are ageing. An application of fake tan on bare, groomed and moisturised legs is more youthful and don't forget a good pedicure too. Shoes are extremely important - they can make or break your day. If you're wearing heels, find a pair that are supportive and won't cripple you after a couple of hours. Break them in by wearing them around the house in advance and get some Scholl Party Feet pads too. Bring a lower pair of shoes for dancing, as by nighttime, no one will notice your footwear. Finally, whatever you choose to wear to your child's wedding, you want to look your best and create happy memories. Prioritise those aims and dress as yourself and the day will be a joyful experience. Need more modern mother of the bride or groom style inspiration? We have a post on Where to Find Great Mother of the Bride Style and check out these 50 Real Mothers of the Bride and Groom with amazing wedding outfits to inspire you!
One Size Doesn't Fit All
Don't Surrender to Stereotypes
Out With the Old
Think Outside the Box
Underwear Matters
Youthful Legs and Happy Feet
FAQs
What does the modern mother of the bride wear? ›
"We've seen mothers of the bride and groom moving away from the traditional two-piece outfits, in favour of a more contemporary look that can be worn again. An elegant well-cut dress with sleeves and minimal detail is the most requested look, with a great shoe and bag.
What is the most popular color for mother of the bride? ›Typically the Mother of the Bride's dress should complement the bridal party's color palette. Not necessarily match with the bridesmaids, but choose a color in the color family. The most popular color for the mother of the bride to wear is navy or a royal blue, followed by blush or a shade of nude.
How not to look matronly as mother of the bride? ›What we recommend you wearing for a daytime wedding, is a swing or tea dress. As we mentioned earlier, this style of dress is one sure to stand the test of time, while ensuring you look quite the opposite of matronly.
What should a mother wear to her daughter's wedding? ›These days, virtually anything goes—formal gown, short or long dress, skirt-and-jacket ensemble—so long as it matches the style of the wedding. Brides can be very helpful by encouraging "the moms" to work together in choosing their outfits.
What should the mother of the bride not do? ›So, a basic rule of wedding etiquette is that the mother of the bride should not outshine her daughter. So, don't choose gowns or dresses that would overpower the bridal gown. Also, try to avoid loud patterns that will overwhelm in photos and make you stand out from the rest of the wedding party.
What jewelry should the mother of the bride wear? ›A cohesive jewelry set for the mother of the bride often includes a necklace, earrings, and sometimes a bracelet, tailored to the formality of the wedding and her personal style. Classic designs in metals that match her outfit will create a refined look.
What should the mother of the bride look like? ›Sleek evening gowns, trendy midi dresses, dressy jumpsuits and chic MOB pantsuits are all excellent options. There are a few factors that can influence mother-of-the-bride attire.
What color dress should the mother of the bride not wear? ›The MOTB can wear any color she wants, but it's better to avoid certain colors such as white, ivory, or champagne tones as they're considered bridal colors and may take attention away from the bride.
When should the mother of the bride get her dress? ›Ideally, you should start shopping for your mother of the bride dress six to eight months before the wedding date, leaving any shipping time and alteration needs in mind. This is enough time to give yourself to find a dress you love that you're comfortable in.
How do I make my mother of the bride stand out? ›Generally, choose an outfit that compliments the bridesmaid's dresses as well as the colours of the wedding. However, try not to go for something too similar. To stand out a bit from the bridesmaids, so your dress should complement rather than match the bridesmaid's dresses.
What makes a dress a mother of the bride dress? ›
A: The Mother of the Bride is special. She needs to stand out a bit from the bridesmaids, so her dress should complement rather than match the bridesmaid's dresses. For example, the MOB could wear a dress in a similar color to the bridesmaids but in a deeper shade.
Who pays for the mother of the bride's dress? ›Mother of the Bride & Groom
Both the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom are expected to pay for their own wedding attire. Typically, these gowns do not need to match the bridesmaid dresses, however, some brides prefer for the gowns to coordinate in some way.
Ruching and draping are design techniques that can create a slimming effect. Look for wedding dresses for the mother of the bride with strategic ruching or draping around the midsection or waistline. These details can help camouflage any problem areas while accentuating your curves flatteringly.
Should the mother of the bride give her daughter a gift? ›While it is traditional (although not obligatory) for the mother and father of the bride to receive a thank you gift from the newlyweds on the big day, a little memento from the bride's parents to their daughter is also becoming more popular.
Who walks in with the mother of the bride? ›The mother of the bride is traditionally escorted by her son if she has one. Otherwise, any close male relative, the best man, or a groomsman walks with the mother of the bride during the procession.
What are the mother of the brides wearing in 2024? ›Blush mother of the bride dresses
If you're striving for a soft and feminine look - blush pink could be the perfect choice. Look out for embellishments like sequins, beads or floral appliqué to add interest, and light fabrics like soft tulle and mesh that will flutter in the breeze.
When deciding whether your mother-of-the-bride dress should be long or short, it's important to consider the wedding venue and formality. A formal setting calls for a more upscale ensemble (like something floor-length), while a shorter, more casual wedding outfit is appropriate for laid-back celebrations.
Does mother-of-the-bride wear the same color as bridesmaids? ›A: The Mother of the Bride is special. She needs to stand out a bit from the bridesmaids, so her dress should complement rather than match the bridesmaid's dresses. For example, the MOB could wear a dress in a similar color to the bridesmaids but in a deeper shade.
How to look slim as mother-of-the-bride? ›Ruching and draping are design techniques that can create a slimming effect. Look for wedding dresses for the mother of the bride with strategic ruching or draping around the midsection or waistline. These details can help camouflage any problem areas while accentuating your curves flatteringly.